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..... [Jun. 6th, 2005|04:34 pm]
I really don't feel like writing this right now.. but I'll feel bad if I don't at least let friends know of it.. and alot of friends are on here so I'm posting this for you..

Last night (Sunday night) my mom died. There was alot of stress going on and she OD'd at a hotel. She went missing this weekend. She called us on her cell phone, but she wouldn't tell us where she was, except that she as at a hotel.. and a pill bottle could be heard rattling in the background. Between the cops and us, we searched loads of hotels and other places. The cops finally found her in a hotel on 103rd street late last night.

It feels like a dream.. I've been out of it all day.. and I was fine (as fine as I could be) for the most part.. then I went to the store earlier to get some stuff.. and an old person walked by me.. I thought how I'd never get to see my mom like that.. and I almost lost it there. It's slowly starting to hit me hard. =(

Then about 30 mins ago I called my dad to let him know.. that was hard...

Just letting everyone know.
*hugs* =(


[User Picture]From: x_ariellemoon_x
2005-06-06 09:09 pm (UTC)
sweetie, im soo sorry!
If there's anything i can do, even just to talk, im here for you alway's!

My deepest sympathy to you and your family

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[User Picture]From: mistresspandora
2005-06-06 09:10 pm (UTC)
i am so very sorry! if you need someone to talk to im here for you!
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[User Picture]From: glinted
2005-06-06 09:26 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry..
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[User Picture]From: purlav
2005-06-06 09:26 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. If you need anything at all, let me know (ktlavender on aim).
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[User Picture]From: katherynne
2005-06-06 09:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, Matt. I'm sorry. You're in my prayers. ♥
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[User Picture]From: iridescentcold
2005-06-06 09:36 pm (UTC)
Aww. (hugs)
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From: swfreak
2005-06-06 09:37 pm (UTC)
sorry to hear this man. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: sevinish
2005-06-06 09:42 pm (UTC)
So sorry, babe :< *huggles you bunches*
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[User Picture]From: tearzz
2005-06-06 10:11 pm (UTC)

my condolences...

matt, i can't even begin to imagine your pain!!! those pictures you posted of your mom are truly lovely!!! i was scrolling through the myspace bulletin and caught your post... i am sending you heartfelt hugs and strength to help you through this moment... i am sooooo sorry for your pain and your grief...

big strong hug to you matt!!!
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[User Picture]From: annastatia
2005-06-06 10:23 pm (UTC)

mayy i'm sorry

*hugs* i love you. just hang in there.
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[User Picture]From: the_lil_darling
2005-06-06 10:37 pm (UTC)


hey hun, i'm sorry about your mother. i'll keep you in my prayers<123
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[User Picture]From: avarwaen
2005-06-06 10:45 pm (UTC)
You have my sincere condolences. There are few things in life that can match the grief caused by such an event. Still, I know you're strong, so just remember to hang in there. You know where to find me if you should ever need to talk.

Take care of yourself.

♥ Arina
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From: (Anonymous)
2005-06-06 11:13 pm (UTC)

Deepest Sympothy


I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have no words that can or will ease your pain, hun. Please know that you are in my prayers along with the rest of your family. God BLess you and your family in this time of sorrow. If you should need to talk, I'm a good listener.

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[User Picture]From: einglaswein
2005-06-06 11:50 pm (UTC)
a thousand hugs chock full of comfort have just been telepathically sent your way.
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From: mond_maedchen
2005-06-07 12:00 am (UTC)
I know you know how sorry I am... Stay strong, but cry all you want... this is your's and Christi's time... know that I'm there for not just Christi, but you as well... if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me (I'll comment with my number in a sec) And if you don't feel like talking in person, you can always email me... I know it's easier for ya to talk that way.
Love always, (your other big sis:)
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[User Picture]From: livingdeadchick
2005-06-07 01:22 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss Matt. *hugs n luvs*
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[User Picture]From: jordynface
2005-06-07 02:03 am (UTC)
wow... i'm sorry ♥ i imagine i take my mother for granted.
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From: (Anonymous)
2005-06-07 02:28 am (UTC)


Tears are flowing down my face luv...for your beautiful Mother....for you. My dear dear friend, all the pictures you have shared with us all,I felt like part of your family. Now I feel your loss. Matt my deepest sympathy, and my love to you, and your family. Know that all of us in the Ghost Community extend our sympathy. And I am always in chat if you need to cry. I will cry with you. My heart is with you, my spirit surrounds you. ~Suzy~
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From: gore_elemental
2005-06-07 03:27 am (UTC)

I'm so sorry... I'm in tears..

I'll talk to you on aim..
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[User Picture]From: metalicmocca
2005-06-07 06:38 am (UTC)
Matt I am so sorry, I know how you feel (I know many people are probally already saying that to you) but trust me I know how it feels, on the 12th it will be the 1 year anniversary of my friend's death. Not to mention that today my brother almost died. You're on my mind. I know you can pull through this so stay strong, your mom will be so proud of you. If there's anything you need just IM me and I'll give you my number, I may not have a car, but for you, I'll walk many miles just to help you out. A MILLION GAGILLION BAZILLION hugs X INFINITY !!!!...+ 1
I'll cry so you don't have to...
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[User Picture]From: metalicmocca
2005-06-07 06:53 am (UTC)
Oh I almost forgot, here's a poem that my friend's mom gave me after he died, I think you should read it. This was read at Queen Elizabeth's Mother's Funeral :

You can shed tears that I am gone,
or you can smile because I have lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that I'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all that I've left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see me,
or you can be full of the love we shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember me and only that I am gone,
or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what I would want:

-Author Unknown

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[User Picture]From: kylses
2005-06-07 01:18 pm (UTC)
you are in my prayers.
if I could I'd shoulder your grief
so that you could unfold.

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[User Picture]From: inayah_az
2005-06-07 03:19 pm (UTC)
Awe Matt I am so sorry you had to experience that. I will keep you and her in my thoughts and prayers. You are in for a rough road, but time eventually makes all things better. I really hope she can come back and let you know she is ok and happy now. ((hugs))

ICPIR Director
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From: vixenizedfate
2005-06-07 03:32 pm (UTC)

My Deepest Regards

I am so sorry Matthew, Don't ever hesitate to get in touch with me if you need anything, I am a friend that remains till the end regardless of the circumstances. You have my deepest and regarded condolences

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From: kaneorion
2005-06-07 03:43 pm (UTC)

I'm sorry

I know you don't know me,but i am sorry to hear about your lose.If there is anything you need just ask.
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[User Picture]From: deviousdolly
2005-06-07 04:03 pm (UTC)
Oh Matt =( I'm so sorry sweets. ;;__;;
:: BIG HUGS ::
If youneed anything.. You know where we all are =(
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[User Picture]From: suicide_xtc
2005-06-07 09:33 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry Matt, There is nothing I can say probably to make you feel better except I'm here if you need to talk to someone or something.

I hope you and your family are doing well...

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[User Picture]From: bloodyvile
2005-06-07 10:16 pm (UTC)
*offers loads of hugs* I lost my mom recently too, almost the same way. It's a shattering experience. =`( Sorry...
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[User Picture]From: lilitheraine
2005-06-08 01:44 am (UTC)
Matt, this is Tara.....

I may not have ever met you or your mother but please, give her my regards. And place an extra flower on her grave for me.

::: Huggles :::
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[User Picture]From: normaljones
2005-06-08 01:58 am (UTC)
i'm very sorry to hear of your loss. please know that you and your family will be in all of our thoughts.

- shelly
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[User Picture]From: sketch_says
2005-06-08 02:52 am (UTC)
Matt I know we don't know each other all that well but I'm so very sorry to hear about this. My best wishes to you and your family in the coming days


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From: kytherals_lj
2005-06-08 04:16 pm (UTC)


matt this is the quite possibly hardest things we will ever go through, we just have to get through it together and be strong for each other, we can have better lives we just can't dwell on missing her and we have to fix the depression in this family we can't let it take hold of anymore of us like this. It is up to us. I love you so much. I am here for you and everyone else in the family. We will make it through. Love,
Your only sis,
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From: holyfork
2005-06-08 06:28 pm (UTC)
you've heard it a thousand times thus far, but i'd like you to know that one more person cares, and i'm sorry to hear that you're going thorugh that. you already know it's going to be hard. if you need someone to talk to, or not talk to, or anything in the world, let me know.

*hugs* :(

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[User Picture]From: rkabilly_pirate
2005-06-11 06:49 am (UTC)
omg =( i dont know a thing to say that no decent person would say =( and im never very good with hearing this kind of news =(
but my heart is with you and i send many vertual hugs and wish i could give you a real one. and if ever want to talk or say hi and im not online email me (since i see that all the time) kbalevre@yahoo.com


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From: (Anonymous)
2005-06-19 11:54 am (UTC)

I know your Mom is so proud of you and Christi. You are both amazing people and that is because your Mom was amazing person. You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

aka Gram T
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From: mdknightbabe
2005-06-22 11:48 am (UTC)

I'm Sorry Matt

Matt, I am so sorry for this tragic event that happened! I am so saddened by this. Remember that you are strong and are cared for greatly! If there is anything that we can do for you, please let us know.

We miss you and hope that you are doing ok, considering the circumstances that have been placed in your path. Hang in there, man! *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: mercurygrrl
2005-12-08 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry :(
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[User Picture]From: green_muse
2006-05-23 12:12 pm (UTC)
I'm sending you many hugs and good vibes. Call me if you need me. 384-2952
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