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As it gets closer toward that time of year, that marks that you're not here.. - Matt Ferrell [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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As it gets closer toward that time of year, that marks that you're not here.. [Apr. 6th, 2013|01:13 pm]
As it slowly gets closer to the date of my moms passing, I'm reminded of the many things she taught me. One of the most important to me is caring about and loving others.

Whether it was friends or family, she was always there to lend a helping hand. She cared about others alot. And whether she meant to or not, those things she did became a part of who I am. She was a nurse that took care of little kids, so she was always there for them also.

One of my best memories that's stuck with me of that caring was from her and those kids. In the later years, she worked for hospice, so she would go to peoples homes to help take care of very sick kids. And sometimes I would go with her.

One of those times, this kid didn't have that long to live, but he really wanted to play some games he saw on tv. But he didn't have a game system to play them. So my mom bought him the system, and I went along with her to help set it up.

Seeing this little kids eyes light up as I set it up for him was the best feeling in the world. As my mom did her work, I sat and taught him how to work the system, played some games with him, etc. Just by doing that (him having someone hanging out with him, playing games, etc.), that probably meant the world to him as well. He was so excited, and kept thanking me.

It was a simple act. But seeing this kid that was very sick.. And doing something that made him light up like that just touched my heart and has always stuck with me.

And from tagging along with my mom and seeing those sick kids, it made me appreciate life more. Also from seeing the sick kids, as well as experiencing my moms passing, it made me appriciate people more. You never know what life may throw at someone, or when you may lose someone. So don't take them for granted. Sadly, her passing was the first real close death I experienced, so that lesson came to me a bit late. I never really let her know that she meant alot to me...

So, she taught me alot, both while alive and even in death. And even if she didn't mean to teach me.. Just her being the person she was rubbed off on me alot. And as it gets toward these months of the year that marks that she's not here.. Those memories and things I've learned come rushing into my mind even stronger. And I'm just thankful for all the things she taught me.. Whether it was through something she did, or an experience I had like with those sick kids.

Miss you, mom.


I wrote this the day she went missing:

And this, the next day:

And about a month later, while thinking about things: